Saturday 11 November 2017

When A Sociopath Has Targeted You for Destruction




If you are one of the lucky ones, you only temporarily crossed paths with a Sociopath, and were used (possibly abused or picked-clean) then discarded like yesterday’s trash.

However, if you are one of the unfortunate ones, you are a lifetime target of Sociopathic Character Assassination: a full-on, unbridled attempt by the Sociopath to totally destroy any credibility that the unsuspecting victim may have had.

What makes this victim so special over other victims that they are targeted to be the recipient of an obsessive and compulsive campaign of systematic destruction?

Simply stated, in most cases, lifetime targets of a Sociopath know too much about the Sociopath.

Sociopaths routinely maintain at least two separate personas. One personality that is embraced by unsuspecting society, the other is their true self, their dark side; the one they keep hidden. They may have many other personalities that they dial-in at any particular moment to manipulate their current audience and change masks at will with the intent to defraud.

It is imperative that the Sociopath keep their dark sides hidden from the general populace. Think about it; if anyone knew who they really were, their lives would unravel. To the Sociopath, protecting the secrecy of their true malicious nature is as important to them as anything that provides life or sense of purpose to any other normal human being.

Sociopaths usually launch laser focused unilateral attacks following a very calculated formula. Even though there is no known, “playbook,” that has been published for the Sociopath to follow, they all intuitively use the same system to ruin the lives of those who they feel may be a threat to the sacred secrecy of his or her true self. Certainly, making a potential witness appear to be crazy, mentally disturbed, unstable or anti-social is the logical solution. 

LAYING THE GROUNDWORK

Years of research and experience has concluded that usually within the first moments of engaging with a victim who might have access to too much personal information on the Sociopath, they begin to sow the seeds of doubt and lack of trustworthiness behind the victim’s back.

The Sociopath draws in friends, family, third parties, co-workers, neighbors and acquaintances of the victim with his or her lies, manipulations and victim playing in an effort to build a (false) trust relationship with the fringe audience and paint the target as someone of poor character. This is accomplished with little effort as the sociopath has innate skill to easily control the perceptions of others endearing them to him or her as they wield their persuasiveness.

The initial impact, though appearing quite harmless and innocuous is commonly cloaked in the appearance of concern for the victim’s well-being and might sound something, like, “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but have you ever thought that (insert victim’s name) may not be what he (or she) appears to be?” No accusations, no data, reports or inclinations of anything concrete, just tilling the soil and fertilizing it with a little doubt.

All the while, they are increasing their own credibility with someone who may be a family member, friend, associate, community contact or acquaintance of the intended victim; unaware that they are being groomed as the Sociopath’s minion who will be turned against the victim when the time is right.


SOWING FALSE “FACTS”

Grooming from this point forward will take a secretive slant and will likely be presupposed with something, like, “Don’t tell (insert name), but…” as they actually sow seeds of doubt.

As the relationship between the sociopath and his or her minion(s) grows deeper, more and more seeds will be sown in an effort to cast doubt, while the victim is none the wiser.

I’ve always thought it peculiar, that in most cases, these once close associates of the victim rarely, if ever, courteously approach them with the sensitive information with a sincere, “Hey, I was just wondering about (insert reports of lack of sanity, trustworthiness, a secret double-life, illicit drug-use, illegal activities, pathological symptoms, etc…)…” that would definitely be an early indicator that something was up.

In most circumstances the victim continues to navigate their life’s journey unaware that the world they once enjoyed is being eroded or destroyed behind their back.

It is common for the Sociopath to project their psychological attributes onto the target. For instance, if they engage in criminal behavior, then this will be represented as being a problem for you. If he or she is greedy, interfering and demanding, this would be presented as something that you struggle with. If they are pathological liars and tend to make up elaborate stories, it will be the victim who secretly lives a fantasy-life where nothing is as it seems… on and on and on…

Why? Because no one knows these attributes better than the Sociopath. They are the undeniable expert in these pathologies and they know how critical it is for someone who has them to keep them a secret in an effort to appear to be normal.

In no way is it suggested that the Sociopath might limit their attacks to their own attributes. They are extremely acute at the skill of taking a grain of truth and spinning it into a ludicrous conclusion that will cast a dark shadow on anyone at any time.

ENTER THE “SPIN”

Sociopaths have the ability to spin any factual data into an outrageous yet convincing yarn that will breed conspiracy or contempt for any individual at will.

For instance, let’s say that you had a hard day at work all day, due to struggling with an intense ongoing headache. Everyone at work could tell that you were not “on your game” as usual. If you intimated to the Sociopath that you had a headache; that would give them the data that they needed to spin a tale.

The tale may take many shapes and forms, but will be consistent with some of the previous seeds that had been sown against you. For instance, if the Sociopath’s intention was to have you appear to his or her minions that you were a closet illicit drug user, he or she might intimate, “Wow, did you notice that (insert your name) was out of it yesterday? It’s normal to go through withdrawals when you don’t get your fix before you get to work… It’s so sad…”
No matter what you say or do, you cannot prevent the Sociopath from spinning it into a negative story about you that will erode your sense of normalcy. 

Instilling shame, embarrassment, guilt, and fear is how all abusers control and silence their victims.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

When the Sociopath has a clue that you are coming to the end of your usefulness in the accomplishment of their goals, he or she ramps up the defamation, usually making it appear that it is you who is beginning to attack them. At this point the Sociopath will appeal to their minions’ sensibilities as they present themselves as the sacrifice, martyr or victim of your psychotic manipulations.

Having no internal filter, they will stop at nothing in an effort to degrade and humiliate you. They will spout vile accusations, even proclaim you’re mentally ill, if it will support their proclamation that you are dangerous and cannot be trusted.

Trying to defend yourself is almost pointless. Often anything that you say in your defense will appear to be a part of your alleged psychosis and will strengthen all of the groundwork that the Sociopath has laid in preparation of this moment.

Even if the Sociopath’s relationship with the minions begins to dissolve (as it almost always does when the minions outgrow their usefulness), the seeds will always leave a mark in their minds… and as heartbreaking as it may be, in most cases, regardless of the ultimate revelation of the Sociopath’s parasitic lifestyle, there may be no hope for recovering the life that you once knew.

Jobs, reputations and fortunes may be lost, friends will turn their backs on you, family members will distance themselves, the people entrusted to help you will always wonder who you “really were” all the time they knew you.

THE RELENTLESS COMMITMENT TO YOUR DESTRUCTION

There is no way to anticipate how long the attacks will take place. In some cases, if the Sociopath is the least bit concerned that you might at some point discredit them or tarnish their appearance or reputation… the attacks will continue. If the Sociopath believes that at any point you could be a threat to their charade, the spinning will not cease. This perceived threat may continue until either of you cease to be.

Many Sociopaths make it clear by the unrelenting torment of their victims that they will not rest until you are locked-up, put away, homeless, or dead.

 MANIPULATION OF AUTHORITIES

Sociopaths may even go as far as to manipulate the authorities. In many cases a devious Sociopath may launch a criminal complaint and have you arrested in an effort to take away your freedom and make certain that you will have little or no credibility whatsoever. Destroying the target through the legal system plays quite effectively into their slanderous toolbox, diverts attention away from their unsavory behavior and gives them the leverage they need to get away with their misdeeds all the while garnering loads of sympathy and support (narcissistic supply) or being perceived as the injured party.  

SOCIAL MEDIA

If you are active in social media, it is not very hard for the Sociopath to tap into your network and stalk, monitor and spy. A Sociopath keeps tabs on their target with the same ferocity a day trader keeps track of the rise and fall of stocks. Their lioe revolves around gathering intel, weaponizing information and spinning everything you say or do against you. Controlling the narrative through fabrication, obstruction, editing, omission and outright fraud is priority number one.

For the Sociopath is a shameless predator always engaged in a cover-up of their seething hostility, diabolical ruthlessness and degenerate way of life.   

18 comments:

  1. Sometimes it just sounds like paranoid rantings , but to those of us who have to live through this we know what the truth is .

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    1. Sometimes "what" just sounds like paranoid rantings?

      Your comment doesn't make sense.

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    2. whatever we say about our abusers , mine are such stood on a pedestal pillars of the community that i have never in 50 years found a single person who will believe what went on in the house off horrors i grew up in . Im "not right in the head " delusional " "the cross the family must bear" "drugs and alcohol do that to people" etc etc

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    3. I believe you.

      I think the only thing worse than the abuse is when the guilty bystanders pile on and point their accusing finger at us. Most people don't get it, and never will, unless it happens to them. That's why narcissistic abuse is so isolating. Many victims are forced to suffer in silence.

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    4. Lisette, this is what happened to me too. My mother got the entire family to believe I lost my mind and that I am "paranoid" and imagining things. I have no chance, this is why I cut off the whole family. I tried to give my side of things to a few and it failed. She won again! Oh I may talk about this in an article today. My life is free of abuse but the isolation is bad. Kate Steeper I was the "overly-emotional" "poor" "loser" It never changed no matter what I said and did.

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    5. I believe you too. My whole family , poof, up in smoke. Its like watching an episode of the twilight zone, as your normal reactions to slander are used to verify for good how evil and damaged you are. God I'm so grateful to blogs like this. I cut all ties with whole lot. No more sleepless nights wondering what I did wrong. No more wasted energy , time , money trying to show how "good" i am. Most importantly, no more wasted love.

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    6. I love this blog so much, and this is one of my very favorite articles. It's so very true.

      I believe you, too. It's been nine years since my FOO stole everything... EVERYTHING... I ever owned and left me homeless and in the middle of nowhere (on a road trip across country). The instant I walked away, the abuse intensified, and these people who'd known me my entire life shunned me. I got all the reports of how I'm on drugs, I'm bipolar, unstable, my thinking process just isn't right, ad nauseum. None of it was or is true. And the N and his flying monkeys win. I'm just really glad I got away and, like Unknown says, "No more wasted love."

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  2. Good article Lisette, yes they are focused on destroying people's lives. I do not know why people believe these monsters. They play "innocent" but seem to have a talent for turning others against someone, it is sick. There's too many willing enablers for evil who have the brains the size of a pea, as they refuse to truly investigate anything or hold to any fairness. They are pawns in a sociopath's web.

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    1. Many people seem to have tunnel vision when it comes to this information. They don't want to see it because when you acknowledge that something exists then you have a responsibility to do something about it. It's all about studying their own conveniences. Some of these enablers are narcissists themselves, so they identify with the narcissist's sense of entitlement to abuse others at will with the expectation that the victim shuts the F*ck up about it. Then again, most of them are just incredibly obtuse and do have brains the size of peas.

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    2. They don't want to act on it. I believe many identify with the narcissists, the ones who gave me flat out denial were frightening and even would contradict themselves. I had one cousin tell me I made people "feel guilty" and that is why they avoided me. Well, do something about it, and pay attention to your conscience then, but that is too much to ask. He admitted I was ignored but then that was my fault because I gave people "negative feelings" of "guilt". Many are incredibly obtuse. I also think there is the negative aspect of humanity where they chose what they perceive as "power" and to hell with the truth.

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    3. Peep, your cousin sounds like a buffoon. You made people "feel guilty" and gave them "negative feelings" of "guilt"?! LOL. He's admitting that he and others are guilty of being guilty and your presence reminds everyone that they are guilty. Of course, in a bizarro narc-like way, he projected his guilt onto you. Yeah, well, then do something about your guilt! I think that is too much to ask of a narcissist, they would rather alienate, shun, destroy and discard the person that gives them the slightest feeling of discomfort (simply because they exist) rather than make any changes to their pathologically selfish, and self-centered way of life. They would rather blame you for their guilty feelings than make amends and alter their behavior. Like everything else, the narcissists' guilt is our burden to carry.

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    4. Yes he is a buffoon. I had two cousins give me this line that I made people feel guilty. I made a crack back to him, well you are better then Queen Spider because you can feel guilt but act according to what your conscience is telling you. It was weird. Here is what he wrote me exactly:

      "I know I've felt guilty in the past for not getting back to you. And feeling guilty is unpleasant, and it's human nature to go into a place of avoidance (i.e. I don't want to contact "Five Hundred Pound Peep", because I feel bad about not getting back to her, and I don't want to feel bad, so I'll just put it out of my mind...).

      That's a cycle I've tried to become mindful of in myself, and face head on (at least sometimes)"

      Yeah I got the guilt projected on me. At the time, I made a crack that he at least felt guilt until my sociopathic mother and others, but I wish I had called him on this. This helps explain why he made me feel uneasy too. I got this same line from his brother too. Now keep in mind these were not people I was bugging all the time. I wrote him [Facebook PM or email] maybe once or twice a year, and I was seen as a "guilt" inducer? How screwed up was that? Wow thanks for writing about this, because it really does make it clear to me why I had problems with these cousins too. Notice how he wants to run away from discomfort and not deal with the issue at hand. Inside I had bad thoughts like why was seen so negatively by him and as an annoying "problem?" I live 250 miles away, I am not calling him to change my lightbulbs or to cry about my problems. I have seen him TWICE in 10 years. Yeah in that shitty family I was to blame ALWAYS. Thats why I went NC with all of them, I couldn't take it emotionally anymore.

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    5. I wrote this article. Thanks for pointing this out to me Lisette, it clears up why he made me feel so bad, even though he was one of the seemingly "nicer" ones. Sometimes I am in horror, at what I have become to them all. Yes they would rather blame for their guilt too.

      https://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/2017/11/scapegoats-will-have-guilt-projected-on.html

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    6. Sometimes I think the reason they may avoid you, or this so-called "guilt" they speak of is based on them listening to and believing horrible things said about you. It makes them feel uncomfortable to communicate with you because you have been smeared to them and all these lies about you are sitting in their head, even though they are not true, they can't reconcile with the truth. They know you are decent, but they have been believing the slander for so long it's just easier for them to go along with that version of you than the real you. Most people are comfortable with the superficial and don't want to dig much deeper into the truth of matters. People like that don't even deserve an invitation to change your light bulbs. Screw em! No pun intended.

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    7. He once said something to me I found interesting...

      "I believe your mother is toxic and she still treats you bad"

      I've been gone for 4 and half years from her life, and 6 months from his completely. This told me the smear campaigns are still going on without let up. I do think this was one reason I was "avoided" even before I was no contact. They were scared of what she would think, and to have anything to do with me, they feared her turning on them, so I had no allies in the family at all. I know they kept all their contact with her by the way, that never stopped not even after I told them about the lies and guardianship over Aunt Scapegoat. They just didn't care. So if they have guilt they deserve to have it. Guilt that is not acted on is just a narcissist or someone with narc traits shutting down their conscience. Yes they have tons of lies sitting in their heads. Before I walked from those cousins, I gave them a chance, I was communicating with them on my Facebook where they saw my art work, me hanging out with husband and activism-protest work--this cousin is one of the few liberals in the family, and that didn't change anything, they chose my mother anyhow. That's when I decided it was time to cut off the entire family, I had been cut off years ago in all the real ways that count. Yes people are comfortable with the superficial. I now realize why even talking to these "nicer" cousins made me feel like absolute shit.

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  3. I have found sociopaths (serial bullies) are more dangerous than narcissists. Narcissists are just as deranged and corrupt to their core but u can tell that one from far off these serial bully cunts i find are a whole other ball game and although I'm getting better at being assertive with them they still trick me in to thinking they are actually nice people. They are such cunts and have given me the biggest heart ache but thankfully i am healing and have much more awareness today. Thanks lisette for a great post x

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    1. Sociopaths fool people easier. I consider Queen Spider a sociopath, many narcs and clusters Bs are obvious and people head for the hills, but the ones able to fool people as reasonable, nice people they can create the most damage.

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    2. More and more I see the attraction between narcs and psychopaths. They compliment each other beautifully. Peep is right. sociopaths have less pesky emotions to get in the way of their 24hr a day acting job. Narcs, however, after they've been fully brainwashed and recruited by a psychopath, can engage in destruction with much more passion than the cold, calculated sadism of a sociopath. I'm becoming more afraid of the malignant narcs following the direction of a sociopath as their demented feelings cause their appetite to destroy the target very personal.

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